Sunday, December 04, 2016

Exulansis


exulansis
n. the tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it—whether through envy or pity or simple foreignness—which allows it to drift away from the rest of your life story, until the memory itself feels out of place, almost mythical, wandering restlessly in the fog, no longer even looking for a place to land.  Of course, revisiting The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows.

It's not a real word, but it should be.  It would help describe the distance I feel between myself and my own childhood.  It often seems so far removed, like something I read once years ago... a story narrated by people demanding absolution in advance of knowing exactly what, if anything, they're even being blamed for.  

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