Tuesday, June 21, 2016

Ol' 55, Part 3

Freeways, cars and trucks...

Lots of distance between now and the past despite that there are times when it seems like I could just reach out and touch it.  I remember eavesdropping on a conversation between two old freaks sitting at a bar:

"I can remember when an ounce of gold was cheaper than an ounce of hashish."

"Yup."

"We could be rich right now."

"Yup."

"Aw hell, I'd probably still go for the hashish if I had it to do over again."

And they broke up into laughter.

Two quotes of note from a conversation I had on social media last night:

Me -- The only good thing about repeating the same mistakes is knowing when to cringe.

Me -- That thin line between pleasure and pain being such a magical place that so many of us want to spend all our time there... I've had some exquisite disaster and some rather mundane, pedestrian successes.  Not that I want to romanticize fucking up but there have been some comedic triumphs I probably wouldn't change one bit.

Liz -- Yea, I can remember a few classics.

But that's just it.  I've lived large and I've lived small and I've lived everything in between and ended up here, and despite all the shortcomings of here... well, the jury is still out on that so why make broad generalizations about the state of here just yet?  I'm in a pretty rough spot and didn't sleep much last night, tossing and turning and thinking about everything.  This is a rough spot.  Again.  I need to change something up right about now because this shit isn't working.

I may be riding with Lady Luck but she seems to have given me the cold shoulder lately, in some respects anyway.  Then again, I've often wondered if there was such thing as luck, good or bad.  I've been thinking an awful lot, bearing down on 55, about randomness.

Let's leave the rest alone for the moment.  We'll get back to this.

What's there to go back and change?  What would I change?  What would you change?  Is it even worth thinking about?

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