Always too soon and too late at the same time. I am sorely tempted to pray one of those prayers to noone, the way I did when I was 11 or so, not to die really, but to disappear. To go somewhere the feelings were not. So not quite a death wish but a something wish. It came true not too much later and things got... but that is another story for another time. For right now being conscious is a drag.
And that's all I've got.